her vagine was all disorganized.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
