yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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