I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
