Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
