We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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