Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
ok first of all what the fuck
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
