That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
