that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize