Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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