After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
