GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
