So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
