someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
