someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up