fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there