Don't make out with my wife yet
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
