i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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