I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize