I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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