Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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