just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
