i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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