you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
