with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
