We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
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So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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