On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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