she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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