There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
