I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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