Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
