their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
