I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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