Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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