So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
