We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize