We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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