And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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