You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
