around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
