I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
