how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
