when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
