So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
