Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
