allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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