Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
