My boss' voice literally gives me gas
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
