Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize