also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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