He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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