me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We are all done wearing pants today
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I did not marry a roomba.
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