The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
