I think i peed on brittanys purse
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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