when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
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You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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