she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
