He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You are a genius and a whore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
