i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
