You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
