the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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