using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
