So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
