WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
