Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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