love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
