i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
