You smell like stripper and shame
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
