Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
