What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
